Oh God, when was my last entry? (checks) uhm yeeeaaahh the 24th oh shit so much has happened. Crazy.

First of all, I just have to mention a couple of days ago, I was waiting to turn left at an intersection. And then this lovely, vintage, turqoise colored VW bus was passing me, and the driver looked EXACTLY like Napoleon Dynamite. Glasses, hair, everything. A freakish, uncanny resemblance!! I didn't have time to take a pic and for that I am sad.









Awesome. I am officially at 'anti-social' status. I haven't partied in a month, I have actively and voluntarily chosen to stay closed up in my house. Today I did not go outside at all. Marvelous. But hey I've been passing my time doing at-home spa treatments and playing Final Fantasy VIII which is my favorite fucking video game, hands down, besides most Super Nintendo games. I don't count DDR on my list because that to me is a sport more than a game. Hells yes.








♥ Squall, my lover and name of my future boy child.



Let's seeeee. Damn tomorrow is photoshoot day, shiat it better not be foggy. I have to be in a BATHING SUIT good God almighty shoot me now. Why did I agree to that? I'm crazy. Yeah.

You know what I've been thinking a lot about recently for God knows what reason? My dream guy. I realized that right now, at this moment in my life I am extremely picky when it comes to guys. And thankfully, I've never always been like this so I will go back someday to being normal. Where I absolutely draw the line is that I will never be with a guy who looks like he obviously doesn't take care of himself, and who tries to get with me through pity and low self-esteem. If you know anything about me, you'll know how I rant about this constantly. I'm really sick and tired of having guys who seem to have the courage to talk to me, but the more they talk, they talk about stuff like, "Oh, well you're obviously way too pretty to be with someone like me." or, "Girls always turn me down because I'm such a loser." How is that supposed to turn me on to you?! You fucking idiot! I wouldn't even want to be your friend, much less your lover. I would, and always, say, "Dude, you need help. I'm saying this as someone reaching out, trying to help another human being in need. Seek THERAPY, because I am not the one who will rescue or heal you. Only you can help yourself, no one else can actually change you." And it's really that simple! Jesus, get these bitches off my back PLEASE. End rant.

Anyway, this was mainly brought up by this interview I read about Jessica Simpson. She's still an airhead, but had some good points on finding the perfect man for you, that actually exists. This has been so hard for me, particurlarly because I live in a town where guys are either way too metrosexual, more gay, or total assholes. So, my options here are quite limited. And more so, when I move up to San Francisco, lol. Anyway, she makes a point of listing off all her desired qualities of an ideal mate, and just after she did this interview, she goes and wins over John Mayer. He is really an ideal partner, no matter what you may think. You know if he came up to you with flowers and a song he wrote about you on his guitar you'd do him too, don't lie. So here are some good traits I thought up:

1.) CHIVALROUS nature. Seriously, where HAVE all the good men gone? Died and went away? Truly saddening. See, that's what's wrong with this day and age, all these double standards. No one seems to care about class and being demure. All you hear about are one-night stands, how many people I can fuck in six hours blah blah BLAH. It's all about sex, there's such little romance and virtue left. I know I may sound like a prude and/or complete virgin, one it's not true, and two having any kind of one night encounter, whether it be sex or next best thing, it just feels dirty and degrading. I don't care how great it was at the time, it's the after part that ruins it. So all I'm looking for is a guy who has it in him to really be a gentlemen about it all, he can love sex as much as he wants, but he's got to be classy about it. Not tell all his friends the next day for a round of high fives and sniggers.
2.) Confidence. I don't even need to explain this one, everyone knows confidence of oneself gets you very far in life. THE END.
3.) Passion. Preferrably in a cause, job, hobby, something. He's gotta have a fire inside him, that's just plain sexy.
4.)Intelligence. This is the most overlooked feature I think. Because no matter how hot and sexy that Rico Suave next door looks, the minute he opens his mouth and has absolutely nothing smart or witty to say is automatically not appealing anymore. I truly dislike when this happens, but it does, and it makes or breaks the relationship. I'm sorry but because Bill Gates or Steve Jobbs know what they know, I would choose either of them over that muscled-out simpleton.
5.)Sense of humor. Some comedians may joke about this being urban legend or something, but it's TOTALLY true. You've got to have a good sense of humor. The majority of girls go for the witty and charming guy in the room.
6.)Clean and groomed appearence. This goes with number 2 really, but it's important to me to point out a guy who knows how to take care of himself and his overall appearence is magnetic and preferable then having to put up with, say, the stinking, stoner boy. I mean, they really just need to know the difference between, casual, formal, at-home casual, etc. It just isn't that hard. I don't need a guy to be decked out in designer labels with a trendy haircut and blinged out with ice and shades, no no. I just need him to be ever so slightly put together in the morning. Bottom line, he just cares about showering every few days instead of once a month, etc.
7.) Responsibility/The Hero. It's true, guys who take on shit that they normally wouldn't help out with, etc. are just plain alluring. All girls, I don't care who you are you know when you were in kindergarten watching the Disney movies, that prince, the Hero, the one who had the responsibility...future husband right there. A guy who wants to help others in need, who wants the responsibility for someone or something other than themselves, is intoxicating almost.

That's pretty much what I'm looking for, at least. In writing it seems like a shitload but in reality, I'm really not asking for much.

Okay, back to Final Fantasy because Squall is amazing. To be continued...